annyeonghasaeyo!

my heart is confused.
why do you say you're okay when you're obviously not?
how do you expect me to not care?
i've been thinking about the whole situation ever since last night,
but you're still keeping mum about it.

& i think like you,
i've fallen too.
but i know that we can't, but yet i can't help it.
urgh.
frustrating.

annyeonghasaeyo,

no one knows i'm here.
i hope no one does.

it's been too long.
wayy too long.
& too much has happened.
wayy too much.

oh wells,
too many things to say makes me not want to say it.

goodbye world.

annyeonghasaeyo,

wow. left this blog stagnant for such a long time.
really loads of things happened.

so little time, so much to do.

work has been GOOD.
we passed the audit-tion.
nice.
boss took us out for a meal at ichiban sushi!

met up with ahrong recently.
nice.
shared alot of our hearts out.

i want to be a part-time lover.
so much easier, having only to commit part-time.
wouldn't it be nice?

dreaming about zac efron, nate archibald, "chuck bass" & a little gaspard ulliel these days.
why ah?
no clue either.

life has been confusing me lately.
i don't know my position anymore.
i don't know what i should do.
kept on making promises that i never keep.
kep on saying "i'll do it" but never.
don't i love you anymore?

sad to sad,
i don't know.

crap.

annyeong,

i'm so drained out.
work work work, hee.
but enjoying it.

but i'm tired.
i don't know what to feel anymore.
twin once told me "distance makes the heart fonder"
but no leh,
to me,
"distance kills the heart"

i thought i'd miss terribly,
but no leh,
surprisingly,
emotions fade.
the memories still stay very vividly within me,
but the emotions are all gone.

weird.
why like that?

i was so tired emotionally,
over myself & God.
i missed God terribly...

darns.

annyeonghasaeyo,

the moulding process is darn difficult.
there's the breaking, moulding & filling.

i know that i must go through all these.
but knowing & having the go through is a different case all together.

last night was the worse.
i had to go through the breaking process.
and it hurts darn bad.

i know i have to, but i don't want it.
i insist on having my way.
fighting with God.
rebelling against God.
it took alot of time, tears & heartache for me to calm down.

i felt like a hypocrite.
teaching & doing different things.
inferiority creeps in.
"am i qualifed, God? to serve You when i'm not doing what You teach?"

i bow down to guilt.
that i am not what i preach to be.
then a powerful quote came to me:
God doesn't qualify the educated, He educates the qualified.

God will educate me.
He uses whoever He wants to use.
& He will.

it's a painful lesson.
really.

but i needed it.
for God to teach me obedience.
for God to teach me wisdom.

cheers.

annyeong,

a month into work & i am still loving it;
tiring it may be,
but it's fun :]

it's kinda cool being able to hear colleagues quote the Bible,
or shout AMEN or HALLELUJAH or PRAISE THE LORD openly.

i love love love my environment.

the route to being let go for the songkran trip is getting rockier.
i have no leave available since i'm still on probation...
& if i do take leave, it's NO-PAID LEAVE!

ahh. God, are you allowing me to persevere or is this Your way of saying no?

i shall wait & see.

cheers.

annyeonghasaeyo,

i need time, by myself.

God gave me a job,
so I would not drift from Him.
i MUST not.

in everything He does,
it's giving us an opportunity to draw nearer & closer to Him.
yet i am blaming work,
for taking up all of my time.

i need to change,
i must change.

God,
meeanhamnidah.

cheers.

annyeonghasaeyo,

OH MY GOSH.
i am so in love with jason!
his voice is so unique!

JASON JASON JASON REEVES!

*HEARTS* truckloads man.

i mean,
you go hear his harmo.
awesome-ness man.
really awesome.
i am so speechless.
i am so in love!
gosh.
yeah, the main singer may be good.
but i always love to listen to the harmo of the song,
which is what totally makes a song,
COMPLETE.

i miss jamming with biddu, truckloads.

cheers.

annyeong,

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paul brought fiona.
ca brought xavier.
jane brought her ryan.
jessie brought her herman.
alex brought his daphne.

and i was the poor victim of the:
"where is your boyfriend?" question!

so funny.
thank God for ethel, eudora & evie man!
they saved me from boredom ;)

happy chinese new year!

annyeong,

it is so unfair you know,
how fake tv shows are nowadays.

it's like,
the show's villain goes out to kill people
& the hero tries to stop him.
& when innocent people die,
the movie's focus is still on the hero & the villain.

WHAT ABOUT THE INNOCENT DEAD PEOPLE?!

the tv shows never mention how they are,
UNLESS
the victims are like part of the main cast?

i know i know,
who cares about the calefare when the movie is not about them.

but i was thinking,
in real life,
whether this is how it's portrayed?

how we tend to focus on something/someone,
that we totally neglect the other victims.

i don't know what this means,
it's just a random thought that came into my head while watching tv.

oh wells.
it's just me.

annyeong,

talked to jiweon online yesterday for quite awhile.
i miss that boy.
haven't seen him in person for sooo long.

told him that,
my dream is to work in a company full of koreans.
his is to live in korea & meet afew celebs!

talked to bilson about MANCHESTER UNITED too!
THE BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD (propaganda)
hee.
we were talking about how skilled berbatov is!

my dream is to work in the soccer industry!
fio & i said,
we don't mind picking up the balls or washing their laundry!

i super do not mind at all.

if i ever get the chance to meet berbatov,
i would ask him
#1) what is up with your hair? use fringe tie?
#2) why you always wear gloves? cold?
#3) got girlfriend or not?
then i'll take loads of pictures with him!

ahh.
*dream dream dream*

annyeong,

jim gordon died :(
if you watch 'Ghost Whisperer', you'd know who.

i've always liked jim.
the guy who always stands by his wife when she has this "gift",
or should i say "curse"? hmm.

boo. i really liked jim.

& i'm loving the new guys from ami..
idk their names YET.
i'll find out soon.

& oh my gosh,
RYAN SEACREST! yummy.

annyeong,

i admit,
i am much happier now.

seriously.
i don't have the dreaded feeling of going to school.
but i do miss jimmy & PSLM.

& guess what,
i'm currently a pro at interviews.
HAHA.

people,
i need a job.

annyeong,

you know how you can fall for someone,
because of his voice?
the way he talks or sings.
just gives me goosebumps.

yeap, i have afew of those voice crushes.

#1) victor hcy
yeap, this is a well-known fact between my friends.
i have never hidden this crush from anyone!
whenever i have the chance to see victor,
i would always hope he sings.

#2) biddu cll
yeap, this is also another well-known fact between my friends in spccc.
biddu's voice is the husky kind, low low kind.
sexayy.
my favourite jamming buddy ;)

#3) justin ang (muttons on 98.7fm)
first time i heard his voice on radio,
I LIKE!
so nice to hear.
i can just hear him talk the whole night.

#4) matt wertz
loved his voice in "sweetness in starlight"

#5) nathan angelo
loved his voice in "the road home"

#6) jason reeves
loved his voice in "permanent"

#7) israel houghton & paul baloche!!
notice the two (!!) signs.
love their voices ALOT!
love israel's additional notes that also bring a song up a notch,
love paul's strong voice that brings across the message of a song so well
(especially in "lead me to the Rock")

#8) mark (westlife)
oh my, this guy's voice really gives me goosebumps.
so rich & well-toned!
too bad he's ...

#9) josh groban
wow. i remember the first time i heard his high notes.
totally awesome.

#10) marc broussard
loved his voice in "gavin's song"
so much emotion!
gosh.

annyeong,

sian.
they (Man U) are thinking whether berbatov is an asset or a liability.

and rumour has it,
that he's attached!

gosh.

annyeong,

the verdict's out.
but God, how come i am unhappy?
is there no peace within my heart?
but that's what i want,
but is it what You want?

i don't know.
i hate making decisions.
to the core.

what am i to do now?

urgh.

annyeong

the verdict will be out soon.

i'm nervous. very nervous.

wish me all the best!

annyeong :)

a new blog for the new year!

still testing out the layouts for this new blog :)

i love the new CompassionArt CD!
all the songs all so nice :)

i really envy Martin Smith & his family!
his wife has the same dream as him :)

serving God together!
my prayer for every couple out there in the Kingdom of God,
is that you guys seek God together,
& accomplish your dreams together!